This weekend was supposed to be MY weekend. The weekend where 3 months of running 40km/week, doing two days of strength, watching my nutrition, and getting enough sleep was supposed to pay off with my first sub 1:50 half marathon. But it didn’t happen – I didn’t even make it to the start line because I was a bonehead and badly sprained my ankle playing lacrosse two weeks ago. Since then I’ve been pretty nasty to be around, and not the least bit grateful for the things I do have. All I can think of is how much of a bonehead I was to throw away all of my training. My brain has been full of a lot of negative self-talk.
Here we are 15 days later, and I still have bruising through my foot, and up the outside of my leg, and lots of swelling from my sprain:
Because I was no longer racing, our family decided to use our rare weekend of no sports, and no racing to head up to my in-laws place in Ottawa to visit and for some rest and relaxation. The kids and hubby were ecstatic, they love going to Ottawa. And me? I was a grump – totally bummed out about what could have been and how much I suck.
That is until I sat down at the park with my youngest and dug in the sand with her, feeling the warmth of the sun bounce off the sand on me.
Sand – there is something incredibly relaxing and therapeutic about digging in it, filling buckets and building castles.
My mood immediately improved, and got even better when the girls dragged me over to the forest for a little hike, and climbing in natures playground.
They even convinced me to try balancing across the log:
But don’t let the smile fool ya – I posed for the picture, then looked down, got scared of the height, crouched down, then shimmied backwards until my feet could touch the ground and I could get off the log. This caused the kids to laugh hysterically at me, which then made me laugh at my foolish self. I laughed and laughed and let go of all of my anger and disappointment in myself.
It was then that I became grateful for all that I do have.
I have freedom. I’m free to dig in the sand, and play with my daughters while feeling safe. There is no war here. I never have to worry about where my next meal will come from, and whether my water is safe to drink. I have my weekends off to enjoy my daughters, and a great family who loves me even if I didn’t run a sub 1:50 half marathon.
I put so much pressure on myself to reach my goals, and to do well at work lately, that I lost sight of what truly matters: my family and our freedom. I wanted so badly to do something special to be someone special, that I forgot that I already am someone special. I am their mommy, and they love me no matter what. That makes me feel incredibly grateful and wonderful.
This weekend I learned an incredible lesson in being grateful.
Today I woke up. I’m healthy. I’m alive. I’m blessed. I apologise for all of my complaining. I’m truly grateful.
Now it’s your turn… What are you grateful for?